


at least out loud, i won't say i'm in love

by omasai



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hinakoma - Freeform, IDK I MIGHT ADD MORE TAGS LATER??? I DUNNO, Komahina - Freeform, M/M, Major Spoilers, Minor Angst, Post-Canon, Spoilers, UHHHHHHHHHHH IDK WHAT TO TAG THIS AS, a really bad fic, as expected, hinata is a DISASTER, i love u komaeda, im sorry in advance, ko is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 01:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14905649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omasai/pseuds/omasai
Summary: After the events of SDR2, Naegi suggests Hinata try to relax by entering Island Mode - what happens in Island Mode stays in Island Mode, right? Or, does it somehow leak outside the Neo World?





	at least out loud, i won't say i'm in love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ululatingangels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ululatingangels/gifts).



> dedicated to the loml, addi.

He twitches in the pod, his eyes slowly opening to reveal a fuzzy ceiling - after blinking a couple of times; he's met with a pure white room, and just as he thinks about how stuffy the room is; the pod door opens and a cold gust of wind brushes against Komaeda's skin.  
He pries himself up immediately - feeling a numbness in his left wrist. He tries to clench his hands, to feel him being alive - but, when he turned to his left, he saw an elegant hand wrapped in bandages attached to his wrist.

The hand was limp and shook around whenever he tried to move his hand, the nails were long, acrylic and pink, decorated with heart sequins and bears resembling Monokuma.  
There's no doubt - this is Junko's hand.

Komaeda sat in silence, looking at the limp hand that just dangled over his wrist, he could feel the bile rising up in his stomach, his eyes had a shadow cast over them by his fringe. He peeled the corner of the bandage off and began unwrapping his arm to reveal - Junko's hand shoddily stitched onto Komaeda's arm - there's a thin layer of dried blood around each stitch, the sight itself was grizzly and horrific.

He suppresses his vomit - swallowing it back, causing an excruciating burning feeling to fall down the back of his throat.

  
This feeling...

_  
Despair._

  
Komaeda is left alone in this room, he's cold, he's scared and the deafening silence is beginning to get to him - he tries to stand up but trying to apply pressure to Junko's hand causes it to push into his skin, inflicting a surprisingly high amount of pain. He winces at this, and rests his left arm between his thighs and uses his right to pry himself off the pod and finally stand up.

He remembers everything.

The trials.  
The murders.  
_His_ "murder."

He stumbles forward, still feeling weak from just waking up from a comatose state.

Although he remembers everything that occurred in the Neo World, the only thing he can think of is _him_.

Hajime.

 

* * *

 

He rummages through his pockets - feeling each Hope Fragment he had collected on the island thus far.  
For some reason, even though he's collected them all with him, he keeps coming back to Nagito.  
He can feel the soft sand of Jabberwock Island between his toes as the salty waves crash against his skin.

Komaeda is speaking, but he's not really listening - he's mostly taking in the breathtaking scenery, just being with Komaeda is a wonderful feeling in of itself.  
He's repeated this scene so many times, he knows what he's going to say - but the feeling each time is so exhilarating and it just feels _worth it._

  
**[Hinata-kun]**  
"Hinata-kun.."

 **[Will you be my friend?]**  
"Will you be my lover?"

  
He blinks, taking in the sentence.

His mind goes blank as he stares at Komaeda's illegible expression.

He can feel his hands get clammy and he hitches his breathing.  
This wasn't supposed to happen.  
It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Komaeda lets out a weak expression - a somewhat sombre smile.

"Aha, I knew it."

"I _am_ a talentless piece of trash, so it's understandable," he laughs off, the pain in his voice is apparent.

"However, I hope we can still be friends, Hinata-kun."

Hinata can barely think straight - mainly because he's been holding his breath for so long he can't think of anything else but exhaling.

This is just the Neo World, right? Whatever happens here, stays here. It wouldn't be bad to just try it out, right?

After all, why did Hinata keep persuing Komaeda, even after gaining all his Hope Fragments? Maybe if he spent more time, down a different path; he'd understand his _own_ motives more.

Hinata sighs and lets out a genuine smile of glee - his teeth shimmering like diamonds as the sun sets behind the rippling blue ocean.

"Let's be lovers."

 

* * *

 

Hinata (reluctantly) wakes up to Usami giving the usual morning announcement, wishing everyone a good morning and to do their best.  
He sits up lazily in bed, ruffling his own hair as he lets out an obnoxiously big yawn.  
He scratches his stomach as he sits in thought before recalling the events that happened the day prior.  
His face flushes and he quickly clasps his hand over his mouth.

So...

  
He and Komaeda are really a couple now?  
In this run of Island Mode, they're dating?

This isn't something that normally happens.

Not to mention; Island Mode should've ended after the 51st day. Why is everything progressing like it normally would?

Hinata sighs, leaning back against the wall beside his bed.

Maybe it's some kind of bug?  
There didn't appear to be any bugs when they were originally trapped in the Neo World, Junko's virus excluded, of course.

  
He scratches his jaw, blinking - trying to adjust to the sunlight pouring through his window.

"There's no use thinking about it," he eventually whispers in the quiet bedroom - presumably to himself.

After all, once Komaeda wakes up, he'll forget all about this, all the data about this run through will be forgotten, and the world will reset.

Naegi will probably realise something's up with the program eventually, for now, Hinata should just act like he always has, that starts with heading to the-

  
"Hinata-kun?"

  
His thought process gets interrupted by a knock at his door.

He perks up upon hearing the noise and lets out a squeaky "I'm coming," as he stumbles to his door.

He pulls open his cottage door and is met with Komaeda.

The tall pale boy is fiddling with the strings of his hoodie as he stares at his feet, which are being kicked into the wood beneath him.

  
"Ah," Komaeda spurts, seeing Hinata in front of him.

  
"Good morning."

  
Hinata furrows his eyebrows and gives Komaeda a perplexed expression - "Good morning?"

Komaeda stumbles over his words a few times, his face becoming increasingly more red with each syllable he manages to sputter out.

  
"I was wondering since we're a couple now - if you wanted to go to the restaurant together?"

  
Hinata cocks his head to the side and lets out a gentle smile.

  
"Sure."

  
He expected this much, at least. Isn't going places together stuff couples do?  
It's not like Hinata knows, he's never really been in a relationship.

  
Komaeda puts his hand in front of Hinata.  
Hinata's face is one of pure confusion, he clasps onto Komaeda's hand and gives it a firm shake before releasing it.  
Komaeda's face flushes bright red before he retracts his hand into the pockets of his jacket.

  
"I-I see," he mumbles, almost inaudibly.

  
"Do you not like holding hands?" Komaeda asks quietly and cautiously.

  
Hinata feels a heavy weight press against his chest.

  
Immediate panic fills his head.

He wanted to hold hands.  
Hinata shook his fucking hand.

He must've looked like a complete idiot.

Komaeda lets out a sad smile and begins walking to the restaurant in front of Hinata.

  
Hinata furrows his brows angrily - not at Komaeda, he was more angry at himself for being so dense.  
He pulls Komaeda's hand from his pocket and squeezes it in his own, Komaeda turns to him, shocked silent.  
Great, Hinata can feel his own face heating up.

  
"I-If it's holding hands, we can do that," he manages to spit out as he averts eye contact with Komaeda.

  
God, this is so embarrassing.

  
Are all relationships like this?

 

* * *

 

"-Hinata."

  
The name echoes through his head as he stares out the window, looking at the vast ocean - stretching off into nowhere, yet everywhere all at once.

  
"Hinata."

  
He finally clicks back into reality and turns to Komaeda, who sits opposite to him at the table.

  
"You haven't touched your coffee," he says, his face full of concern as he traces the rim of his teacup with his fingers.

  
"Oh," Hinata mumbles, unaware that even _ordered_ coffee.

  
He picks up the mug and presses it to his lips.

  
"I'm sorry," Komaeda sighs, with a smile on his face as he glances at his reflection through the tea that ripples throughout his cup.

  
Hinata almost spits his coffee all over the place, but he regains composure (somewhat) and manages to choke it all down.

  
"What?"

  
"You seem to be out of it, I can only assume it's because of my surprising confession," he chuckles - but it feels like an empty laugh.

  
"I-It's not that!" Hinata argues, placing both palms flat on the table and standing up.

  
Komaeda looks up and down at Hinata, his face unreadable.  
"Then, what is it?" Komaeda says, picking up his teacup and blowing on the surface of the beverage.

Hinata sits himself down slowly, clasping his hands together.

"I've just-"  
"-I've never really been in a relationship before. I don't know what couples are supposed to do," he mumbles, covering his beet red face with his hand.

  
Komaeda's eyes widen as he puts his teacup down.  
"Really?" He asks, peering at him.

  
Hinata nods silently, feeling awkward speaking.

  
Komaeda lets out a relieved smile.

  
"I'm glad," he mumbles.  
"I'm glad I'm your first love, Hinata-kun," he smiles at Hinata - this time, it feels genuine. A pure, genuine smile; expressing nothing but happiness.  
Hinata feels something in him begin to lift and he exhales.

 

* * *

 

Komaeda expressed a desire for a walk, so Hinata joined him as they walked along the various bridges connecting the islands.

Hinata, himself, never really just stopped to take in the scenery before, so walking around, with his fingers intertwined with warmth, just taking it all in, is refreshing.

For a "paradise" it was unexpectedly chilly.

 

"Ah, I almost forgot," Komaeda says, letting go of Hinata's hand abruptly.

 

Hinata felt a sharp pain in his chest that he couldn't quite recognise, so he shrugs it off and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Komaeda holds a card between two fingers and waves it in front of Hinata's face - "You have no plans today, right? Do you want to go somewhere?"

Hinata blinked.

 

"Oh, sure..."

 

Hinata wasn't used to being the one to get asked out. Usually, _he_ was always the one initiating contact with Komaeda. So this was new to him.

 

"Then," Komaeda trails off, eyeing the bridges surrounding them.  
"How about we go to the fourth island? They have a Ferris Wheel, right?" He beams.

Hinata sighs, but it's not an exasperated one, more of an "I saw this coming" kind of sigh - he smiles and takes Komaeda's hand.

"Lead the way."

 

* * *

 

Komaeda forces his hands in his lap and fiddles his thumbs.

He looks up to the seat opposite of him - Hinata is leaning against the window, gazing out upon the island.

The sun is setting and the colours of the sky reflect upon Hinata's face.

Komaeda smiles softly at his own hands.

He can't help but worry though.  
This is a stroke of such incredibly good luck. Who knows what could happen.

Komaeda bites the inside of his mouth, trying to shake off his anxieties, but they still linger.  
After all, he's never had good luck without the bad.

 

Komaeda's eyes make their way back to Hinata's face - it's expressionless as he stares out the window, but somehow, even that looks gorgeous in its own way.

His eyes fall down to Hinata's lips and he turns his head away almost immediately.

Hinata's turns his head back to Komaeda, who is looking away from him.

The silence was somewhat comforting for a while, but it's gone on for too long it's started to get a bit awkward.

Hinata can tell that Komaeda won't be the one to initiate this time - so he takes it upon himself to break the silence.

 

"Thank you for inviting me out today."

 

Komaeda turns to Hinata and smiles - like his usual self.

 

"It was my pleasure. I'm surprised you'd be happy to go out with a worthless piece of trash like me."

 

Hinata's expression falters as he stares at Komaeda.

If this version of Komaeda knew he was a Reserve Course student, what would he think?

Would he still love Hinata? Or would that change?

Despite knowing how he treated him, despite knowing his infatuation with hope, despite all this - Hinata still decided to pursue Komaeda multiple times, the kind of dedication a regular person wouldn't have. Why would he go through all this trouble for a hope-obsessed lunatic?

He feels a prick in his chest after thinking that.

Something's not right here.

 

"Hinata-kun?" Komaeda asks after seeing Hinata's distraught face.  
"Is something wrong?"

 

Hinata shakes his head - hoping his doubts go away while he does so.  
"No, I'm just, happy."

 

Komaeda's ears perk up as he cocks his head to the side.

 

"I've never experienced something like this before. I'm a little scared but, I'm really happy at the same time."

 

Komaeda smiles, "I'm glad."

 

He reaches out and touches Hinata's hand.

They remain like that until the ride eventually halts to a stop.

 

* * *

 

 

Komaeda walks Hinata back to his cottage.

He can't remember what they were talking about on the way back, but he remembers they kept bumping shoulders and laughing.

The kind of euphoric feeling that one can only dream of.

 

"Thanks for today, I had a lot of fun," Hinata chuckles behind a loose fist.

 

Komaeda's pale eyelashes flutter as he smiles gently.

He runs a hand over the side of Hinata's face.

 

He bumps Hinata's forehead with his own and Hinata can barely breathe.  
He can feel a hammer pound into his chest.

 

Komaeda touches Hinata's nose with his own before pulling away - an amused expression planted on his face.

 

"You're as red as an apple," Komaeda laughs.

 

Hinata can feel the heat radiating from his face.

He covers his face with his forearm.

Komaeda's expression immediately changes from amused to concerned.

 

"Hin-"

 

"Thanks for today," Hinata yells, although it sounds more like gibberish than an actual sentence.

He backs inside his cottage and slams the door shut.

He leans his back against the door and slides down until he's sitting at the base of his door.

 

"Well hello," says a slightly flustered voice.

Hinata raises his head so fast he swears he got whiplash.

On the monitor in front of him, a confused Naegi stands.

 

"N-Naegi."

 

"Do you know what's going on? The world should've reset after day 51, but it's still going, I-"

 

"Um," Naegi says, his voice a little weak.

"I'm sorry, Hinata-kun, we're not entirely sure what's the cause of this error yet. But um, we assume that the world will automatically reset once Komaeda wakes up."

 

Hinata's breaths sound more like heaving.

 

"Yeah?" He says, his voice cracking in multiple places.

 

"Yeah."

 

Hinata lets this sink in.  
Until Komaeda wakes up, huh?

 

"Any updates on that?" Hinata asks.

 

Naegi scratches his chin. "Kind of."  
"It seems like he'll wake up soon - but we're not exactly sure when."

 

Hinata nods.

Great.

This is fucking great.

 

"Ah, Kyoko told me to uh, say congratulations."

Before Hinata can ask what for - Naegi answers the question for him.

"About Komaeda."

 

He swears his face is either bright red or as pale as a ghost - either way, it's not great.

 

* * *

 

Hinata spent the majority of his day cleaning his room.

He sighs exasperatedly and leans against his broom, staring at the clock resting upon his wall.

He still has some time left before it's nighttime.

 

 _Nagito_ is the first thought that pops into Hinata's head.

He tries to remove the thought by severely shaking his head - but alas, it did nothing.  
He pouts at himself.

How pathetic must he look to everyone else?

Why does the thought of Komaeda make his heart race? Is this what it means to be in a relationship?

Come to think of it, Hinata's felt like this for a while.  
Could it be-

 

"Hinata-kun?"

 

He jolts and drops his broom at the sound of an abrupt knock and Komaeda's soft voice echoing through his thin door.

 

"C-Coming," he squeaks out.

 

He cringes at himself before approaching the door.

 

"Yes?" He asks cautiously, hiding behind his door.

 

Komaeda quirks an eyebrow but decides to drop whatever he was about to say and flashes a bright pink card.

Hinata feels his heart rate quicken.

He clutches his chest tightly, trying to suppress the feeling.

 

"Do you have anywhere in mind you'd like to go?"

 

Hinata stares, fixated on Komaeda's eyes.

 

"You don't have anywhere _you_ wanna go?"

 

Komaeda lets out a light chuckle, "We went to a location I favoured yesterday, it's only fair if you pick the destination this time, right?"

 

Hinata feels a lump in his throat and lets out a disgustingly graphic cough which seems to raise concern from Komaeda.

 

"A-Are you alright?" He asks, pushing the door open a little more.

 

Hinata embarrassingly covers his mouth and quickly nods.

"Um," he says meekly and muffled.  
"The beach."

 

* * *

 

Komaeda smiles as he looks at the sun set behind the dark hue of the ocean current.

Hinata sits stiffly beside Komaeda, his hands shaking.

Komaeda turns and rests his palm atop of Hinata's shaking fists.

He looks to Hinata and provides him with a smile of reassurance.

Hinata awkwardly smiles back.

 

"Oh, I suppose it is quite cold," he murmurs, rustling his jacket off and placing it on Hinata's shoulders.

 

Hinata buries his body in the fabric, nestling in until his torso is covered in warmth.  
"It smells like him," Hinata mutters inaudibly.

 

Komaeda raises an eyebrow, "I'm sorry?"

 

"Nothing," Hinata sighs, a smile fading onto his face.

 

Komaeda lets out a soft expression as he gazes at Hinata's face.

Light laughter comes from his side and Hinata looks over.

Komaeda is staring into the grey mass that would be Hinata's eyes, which were usually dull but somehow managed to sparkle whenever he was staring at Komaeda.

 

"I must be really lucky."

 

Hinata raises an eyebrow, "Well, you're the Ultimate Lucky Student, after all?"

 

Komaeda feels a weight in his chest and nervously laughs, "That's... not what I meant."

"I mean," he sighs.

"I'm lucky to be here with _you_."

 

Hinata can feel his face heat up and raises the hood of Komaeda's jacket to hide his flustered expression.

 

"Oh, that was a nice face-" Komaeda says, leaning into Hinata.

 

"N-No it wasn't, go away."

 

Komaeda lets out a laugh, "Let me see-"

 

He lightly tugs the hood off Hinata's head to reveal a beet red boy.  
Komaeda parts his lips in awe at the sight.

 

"Y-Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever you're done looking now, right-"

 

Before Hinata has time to react, Komaeda's lips are already pressed against his own.

Hinata wants to breathe, to squeeze some sort of stress-toy, but he ends up melting into Komaeda's arms.

 

"A-Are you alright?" A flustered Komaeda panics.

 

Hinata nods while his head is pressed against Komaeda's chest.

He can feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes - he can hear each beat his heart pumps.

 

"Komaeda?" Hinata breathes softly, his eyelids feeling heavy.

 

"Uh, yes?" Komaeda answers, obviously nervous, or flustered. Or perhaps both.

 

"I really like your voice."

 

* * *

 

Hinata slowly opens his eyes but immediately closes them after a blinding light is all he sees.

He twitches and sits himself up before opening his eyes once more.

He places his palm on his forehead and immediately feels a weight across his legs.

He sees a sleeping Komaeda lay sprawled across his bed - er, well, _half_ sprawled. His lower body rests on a chair.

 

Hinata must've passed out last night.

Has he been working himself too hard lately?

He sighs and runs his fingers through Komaeda's hair instinctively.

It's soft and runs through his fingers with ease.

He feels Komaeda twitch beneath his hands and quickly retracts his hand, oh, but of course, not without accidentally pulling some of Komaeda's hairs _out_.

Hinata sees Komaeda visibly wince and scratch the back of his head.

 

"Sorry," is Hinata's immediate response.

 

Komaeda lets it off with ease - putting on a smile like he normally would.  
"Good morning, Hinata-kun."

 

Hinata narrows his eyebrows, feeling guilty.

 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I was just playing with it and-"

 

Komaeda quirks an eyebrow, "You played with my hair?"

 

Hinata deadpans and wonders if he could fling himself into the ocean.

 

"I'm flattered you'd touch a lowly human like me," Komaeda smiles.

 

Hinata frowns.  
"Why do you always insist you're like trash?" Hinata mumbles.

 

Komaeda's eyes widen.

"Because I am? My talent is merely good luck. Unlike the other Ultimates."

 

"You don't even know my talent," Hinata rebuts.

 

"Whatever your talent is, Hinata-kun, I bet it's amazing," Komaeda closes his eyes and sighs with a happy smile.

 

"What if I don't have one?"

 

Komaeda raises an eyebrow.  
"Is it possible to enter Hopes Peak without a talent?"

 

"Anything is possible," Hinata nervously laughs.

 

Komaeda's expression falls flat.

"We both know that's not true."

 

"Let's assume, that it _is_ possible," Hinata mumbles, tripping over his own words like an idiot.

 

Komaeda stares at the ceiling for a while.

A deafening silence falls between them and Hinata just wants to break into tears and cry for no real reason.

"So?" Komaeda finally says, making eye contact with Hinata.

 

"What?"

 

"I said, _so_?" Komaeda confirms.

"Whether or not you have a talent, is that really relevant at this point in time? Because that doesn't change the fact the you I know now is still _you_."

 

The _real_ Komaeda would laugh at that statement.

 

"I can't be a foundation for "hope" if I'm talentless," Hinata reminds.

 

"Good thing you're not," Komaeda is quick to respond.

 

"Wh-"

 

"This whole situation was hypothetical, yes?" Komaeda asks.

 

Hinata closes his eyes, swallowing down saliva in the hopes to moisten his dry throat.

He nods.

 

"See?"

 

* * *

 

The loud crunch of something being broken echoes through the room and Hinata snaps back into reality.

 

"Doesn't that hurt?" Hinata sighs dully as he watches Kazuichi chomp on a lollypop.

 

"Not really?"

 

His gaze traces the room until he sees Chiaki sitting down beside him, holding some sort of handheld gaming device.  
He peers over her shoulder and watches her play for a few seconds.

 

"Ah," she mumbles as she dies.

She turns to Hinata and stares at him with an unidentifiable expression.

 

"You seem off lately, Hinata-kun," she says, reaching towards Kazuichi for some candies.

 

"Y-You think so?" Hinata spits, visibly flustered.

 

"There, right there."

She flicks her wrist and points a lollypop directly at Hinata.

 

"You're hiding something," she speaks softly as she unwraps the candy and plops it into her mouth.

 

"I'm really not. It's nothing to worry about, seriously-"

 

Kazuichi eyes Hinata up and down, "Come to think of it, you've been hanging out with Komaeda a lot recently."

 

Chiaki pokes her chin and stares at the ceiling, "You're right," she mumbles with her mouth full.

 

"Why're you hanging out with a weirdo like him?" Kazuichi sighs, throwing a hard candy into his mouth and proceeding to chomp it viciously.

 

Hinata winces at the sight - that _has_ to hurt his teeth.

 

"He's really not that bad once you get to know him."

 

Kazuichi raises an eyebrow, "Really?"

 

Hinata eagerly nods.

"He's funny in his own way, and yeah, his views on hope are a little strange, but he's always thinking of the best for us!"

 

Before he realised it, Hinata was rambling - rambling about all the times he'd spent with Komaeda, just talking, hanging out, playing games - whatever came into his mind first.

Kazuichi and Chiaki remained silent as Hinata went on his speech about how great Komaeda was, Chiaki even started nodding along as if she were invested in the conversation.

 

"Oh! Speaking of the beach, we hung out there a few days ago and-"

Hinata silences himself as he hazily remembers the events that took place.

"-Talked."

 

"You didn't swim?" Kazuichi asks, with a slightly aggravated tone.

"Were you listening? Hinata-kun mentioned that he doesn't like to swim, due to the dangers it holds," Chiaki says, biting down on the candy in her mouth.

 

"Y-Yeah," Hinata murmurs, sinking further into his chair.

 

Kazuichi slumps down and sighs, "I just don't get it."

 

"I think I do," Chiaki says, staring at the screen of her console.

She boots up a different game and begins unwrapping a piece of gum.

 

"He makes you comfortable, right?"

 

Hinata blinks.

 

"You feel at ease with Komaeda-kun," she adds, "You can talk to him about anything. As if he's your closest friend, or, even family to an extent. You could consider Komaeda your _home_ ," she says.

 

"My home?" Hinata asks, leaning in slightly.

 

Chiaki seems to have lost interest in the conversation and begun to immerse herself in her game again.

Kazuichi clicks his tongue.

 

"How can you consider a person your home?"

 

Hinata cocks his head to the side.

"Well, what about Sonia?"

 

Kazuichi sighs, waving his hand dismissively.

"Nah, Sonia's more of an idol figure, I guess. I know I got no chance with her. So it'd be stupid to consider her my "home"."

 

Hinata raises his eyebrows at that statement.

 

"You what? I thought your whole goal was to get Sonia to like you back."

 

Kazuichi lets out a weak smile.

"I told you, right Hinata?"

"Elegant, blonde babes have been my dream girls since I was a little tyke. Sonia is a literal _princess_ , I know she's out of my league."

"Sure, I chase her, and if given the option, I'd totally date her! But I know she's not into me like that, it's pointless to chase her further, y'know?"

 

"That's-"

Hinata stops himself and lets out a small smile.

"The old you wouldn't have done that."

 

Kazuichi quirks an eyebrow " _Old_ me?"  
Well, to be fair, the _real_ Kazuichi hasn't even done that yet. It seems the Neo World has better character development than real people.

 

"Nothing," Hinata dismisses.

 

"But, thanks I guess."

 

Kazuichi makes a face.

"Thanks? For what?"

 

"Listening," Hinata grins.

 

* * *

 

Hinata shuffles around his room.

It's nighttime.

He's just cleaning up a bit before he finally goes to bed.

He hears a knock at his door and is immediately frustrated.

 

"Ugh."

 

He opens the door, knowing ignoring them would be pointless as his lights are still on.

 

"Do you know what time it is?" Hinata whines as the door clicks open.

 

Standing there is Komaeda, with a _very_ upset expression on his face.

 

"K-Komaeda? What are y-"

 

"Why didn't you visit me today?"

 

Hinata must be making the dumbest face right now, because within the two seconds of silence after he asked that, Komaeda's expression changed to one of anger.

 

"I was waiting for you."

 

Hinata can feel his face twist and contort into an even more confused expression.

"Uh?"

 

Komaeda remains silent.

Hinata squints, it's hard to see since it's dark but-

 

"Are you crying?"

Komaeda blinks - apparently he, himself was unaware he was crying.

 

"I'm not," Komaeda coughs, trying to regain his composure.

 

Hinata frowns and opens his door.

"Why don't you come in?"

 

* * *

 

"I apologise, Hinata-kun."

 

Hinata looks up, "It's fine."

 

Komaeda sits on the small couch located in Hinata's room, just next to his television, and under his monitor.

He has his hands curled into fists which rest firmly in his lap.

"Um, it's just, I guess I was getting used to spending every day with you. So when you didn't come to approach me, and when you weren't in your room, I panicked, I suppose."

 

Hinata sighs, "That's not very like you."

 

"You don't know a lot about me," Komaeda smiles.

Hinata cocks an eyebrow.

"Hinata-kun, you must be aware I'm not very liked on this island."

 

"That's just because they don't _know_ you," Hinata insists, "I'm sure people like Chiaki would talk to you."

 

Komaeda smiles, "Is that so?"

His voice lingers with a melancholic tinge.

"Hinata-kun, you're the very first person to approach me. Enjoy being with me and..." Komaeda trails off, looking at his palms.

 

"You're the first person I've loved."

 

"It's amazing how my bad luck hasn't affected this relationship so far," he chuckles lightly.

"Being with you," Komaeda hums, "Is the greatest pleasure I've ever experienced. So I suppose I was disappointed when you spent the day elsewhere."

 

Hinata stares at Komaeda for a moment.

There's a silence between the two - but it's not awkward, it's more of a comforting, reassuring kind of silence.

 

"Y'know," Hinata eventually says, breaking the silence.

He rubs the back of his neck, "This is my first time being close to someone like this, too."

 

Komaeda's eyes widen ever so slightly.

 

"I don't know if it's just me but, I feel really at ease when you're with me. I didn't mean to upset you, it's just-"

"-You make me feel so many emotions, I can't pin just one. I needed a break because," Hinata stumbles over his words, his face heating up in the process.

"Because you make my heart beat so fast it gets hard to breathe."

 

Komaeda lets out a soft smile after hearing that.

"I'm sorry, Hinata-kun."

 

Hinata raises his head so fast he almost gets whiplash.

"Sorry?"

 

"I didn't know you felt like that. We can spend less time together if that'd work best."

 

Hinata immediately grabs Komaeda's hands in his own.

Komaeda's hands are bigger than Hinata's, they're also very cold in comparison to Hinata's sweaty palms. Hinata intertwines his fingers with Komaeda's.  
"This is scary."  
"But I don't want to stop it."  
"It's terrifying, but when I think about not being able to see you, that's even scarier," he rambles.

"Please, don't leave me," Hinata begs, pressing their interlocked hands to his forehead.

 

* * *

 

"Are you doing anything?" Chiaki asks while she plays with the whipped cream on top of her iced coffee.

 

Hinata raises an eyebrow as he downs his burning hot coffee.

"For what?"

 

Chiaki deadpans.

"It's Komaeda's birthday."

 

Hinata almost spits out his coffee - alternatively, he swallows down a large gulp and ends up coughing most of it out afterwards.

 

"Wow, you forgot?"

 

Hinata turns behind him and sees a frustrated Mahiru.

 

"Men truly are the worst! Aren't you his best-friend?"

 

Hinata nervously laughs.

If only _they_ knew.

 

"You better not pick him anything up at the store. Not like there'd be anything good you could purchase anyway," Chiaki hums.

 

"That's true," Mahiru nods.

"Maybe try going to places? The theatre? Amusement Park? Take pictures! Sentimental stuff like that," she suggests.

 

"Sentimental stuff?" Hinata asks.

 

Mahiru narrows her eyes, "Boys can do sentimental stuff too! I'm sure he'd appreciate it more than anything you _buy_."

Hinata chews his bottom lip.

She has a point - it's not like there's anything the supermarket sells that would pique Komaeda's interest, anyway.

Hinata proceeds to let his head hit the table and groan out of frustration.

 

"In the end, I don't think it really matters," Kazuichi pipes up.

 

Hinata groggily raises his head.

 

"Komaeda..."

"He's your _home_ right?"

 

Hinata's eyes widen.

"If that guy and you are so close, I'm sure he'll love whatever you decide to throw at him," he yawns, twirling his finger around in his ear.

Kazuichi's never been the smartest or wisest guy, but for some reason, Hinata has faith in those words he spoke.

 

* * *

 

"A date?" Komaeda asks, zipping up his jacket.

 

"Yeah! Is there anywhere you wanna go?"

 

Komaeda breathes and stares at the sky for a brief moment.

"The theatre, I suppose. I heard Usami's selected new movies to show."

 

Hinata feels slightly disappointed.

 

"The theatre? Is... that it?"

 

Komaeda cocks his head, "Oh, did you want me to select multiple places?"

 

Hinata eagerly nods.

Komaeda looks a bit flustered - or, maybe overwhelmed.

 

"Um, maybe we could go to the amusement park? I like the slow rides."

 

Hinata smiles and offers his hand to Komaeda.

"It's a date."

 

Komaeda's expression falters for a brief moment but he picks up Hinata's hand and gives him a reassuring smile.

 

* * *

 

"Do you remember what genre I like best, Hinata-kun?"

 

Hinata lets out a bit of a cocky smile.

"Mystery, right? It's my favourite genre, too. So it wasn't hard to remember."

 

Hinata stares at the empty reception desk - reminding how much money he wasted on Monokuma's stupid pin in the first simulation.

 

"Hinata?" Komaeda quietly speaks as he taps his shoulder.

 

Hinata flinches before giving him a reassuring smile.

It didn't happen in this timeline, all is fine.

 

Hinata scratches his chin.

"You don't like eating during movies, do you?"

 

Komaeda gives him a wary smile, "I apologise."

 

Hinata smiles, "Nah, it's okay."

 

"Um, could I get a drink, though?"

 

Hinata nods and hands Komaeda one of the small soda cups and gives him a straw as well.

Hinata chooses some chocolate candies rather than actual popcorn, seeing as how eating popcorn would be loud - and probably distract Komaeda from the movie.

 

"Okay," Hinata breathes - mainly to himself.

He grabs Komaeda's free hand with his own, causing a somewhat shocked reaction from him. He simply smiles as they enter the cinema.

 

* * *

 

"I should've bought the popcorn," Hinata groans.

Honestly, he didn't know what he expected.

Monokuma's movies were bad. But Usami's were on a _whole_ other level.

 

Komaeda lets out a forced laugh.

 

"Well, this could've gone better, huh?"

 

Hinata nods.

Way to go, Hinata. You took him to the sleaziest theatre known to man for his birthday - and of course, this sleazy theatre shows sleazy and barely tolerable films.

Honestly, he's just ashamed of himself for not thinking that this could be a possibility.

The real Komaeda probably would've said something like "I guess this is my bad luck for today."

 

"I guess this is just my bad luck for today," Komaeda hums.

_He fucking knew it._

 

"No, it's my fault," Hinata persists.

 

"How so? You asked me where I wanted to go and _I_ was the one who suggested the cinema."

 

Hinata can't argue there but - that doesn't make it Komaeda's fault!

 

"Let's agree it was a mutually bad decision."

 

Komaeda lets out a soft chuckle.

"Alright then."

 

* * *

 

Hinata considers calling off the amusement park altogether. But he knows Komaeda would just insist on going anyway so he doesn't bother.

 

"Wuh-wuh-wait!" A squeaky voice calls out from behind the boys.

Hinata almost screams out of surprise - which would've been embarrassing on multiple levels.

He turns to see a sweaty, panicked Usami stretching out her arms.

Komaeda lets out a soft smile at her - for some reason Usami seemed pretty close to Komaeda, despite how they acted when they first met outside of Island Mode.

 

"What is it?" Hinata nervously asks.

 

"Since wou gwuys are going to da awusement park I thwought I'd tell wou about a new wide!"

 

Hinata clenches his jaw.  
What the fuck did she just say?

He gets that she's supposed to be cute and cuddly or whatever but the sentence she just spoke was literally illegible.

 

"New ride?" Komaeda inquires.

 

Thank God for Komaeda, or Hinata would've had to answer himself - which would end in disaster, knowing him.

Usami lets out the softest smile, a pure expression as she continues.

 

"Wes! It's a water wide! Swo if wou're intewested, wou shouwd go gwab wour swimsuits!"

 

Komaeda rubs his chin in thought.

 

"Is it dangerous?" Hinata asks - probably out of habit.

 

"What!? Nwo! There is to bwe nwo dangewous objwects on the iswand! It's compwetewy safe!"

 

"There's still a possibility of drowning, or slipping and falling, falling off a diving board causing you to break your bones, or even worse..." Komaeda rambles.

Usami looks horrified.

 

Komaeda's expression lightens.

"Ah, but if Hinata-kun's with me, I'm sure it'll be okay!"

 

Usami lets out a shaky breath and looks slightly more relieved - but not by much.

 

"I'll make sure everything goes okay," Hinata says as he lets out a weak smile.

 

Usami happily nods before signing off with a "Wuv~ Wuv~"

 

* * *

 

Hinata kicks his feet in the water, the neon lights illuminating a beautiful glow on the area and the jets in the pool giving off an ambient humming sound.

As a breeze passes him, Hinata wraps himself up in his towel tighter.

Komaeda is lazing around in the pool on his back, his eyes staring up - staring at the twinkling night sky.

 

"The sun set pretty quickly, huh?" Hinata mumbles.

 

"Well, we _did_ have to go to our cottages and back to get into our swimsuits," Komaeda sighs.

 

"Yeah..."

 

It's silent between the two. Hinata can hear the water move every time Komaeda takes a breath. He can hear one or two birds chirping in the distance, but most of all he can hear his own heart pounding through his ears.

"Are you not coming in?" Komaeda questions.

 

It must look weird.

Komaeda's been in the pool for around fifteen minutes, and Hinata's just been lazily kicking the water, procrastinating on getting in.

For some reason, the idea of Komaeda seeing him makes him flustered - hence, the towel. But he's not sure why. He never had a problem swimming with him, or other classmates before.

Hinata sighs.

 

"I'll get in," he says.

 

Komaeda stops lying on his back and stands up, "Oh, you don't have to if you don't want to, I was just-"

 

"I said I'll get in," Hinata says, slightly infuriated.

 

He shakily grabs his towel and throws it on the ground, jumping into the pool immediately after.

The water wasn't too cold, to his surprise. It was somewhat warm - a pleasant surprise.

Komaeda lets out a weak - but somehow genuine smile.

 

"It's a little odd there's a pool here. I thought there was a water ride."

 

"There is," Hinata sighs, "I asked Usami about that and she apologised saying that it's under construction and to use the pool installed."

 

"Why did she mention it then? Seems a bit unnecessary," Komaeda laughs.

 

"I dunno," Hinata sighs.  
"I guess the pool is a part of the ride? But the actual ride hasn't been built yet?"

 

Komaeda scratches his chin, "I suppose that's a possibility."

 

"How does Usami do all this work anyway?" Hinata groans, leaning against a wall.  
"It's not like anyone helps her."

 

"You're right."  
"Perhaps it's the people controlling Usami that help with construction? I mean, that doesn't seem too far-fetched."

 

"Maybe," Hinata sighs.

This isn't the real world, so it makes sense Usami's able to just build and implement things here and there - but this hasn't happened before in any run of Island Mode.

Hinata shakes his head - ridding himself of the thought.

 

Komaeda furrows his brows.

"Hinata-kun, are you alright? You've been acting strange all day," Komaeda says, slowly approaching him.

 

"H-Have I?" He panics.

 

Komaeda leans in closer - "Yeah, you have."

His expression is null - unreadable, at most he looks sceptical.

 

"Um, well, I heard it was your birthday so I wanted to make sure you had a good day and you always talk about spending time with me and how much you like it so I thought I'd just invite you out but it turns out the movie sucked and the ride wasn't even finished and nothing went as planned and I'm sorry-"

 

Komaeda presses his lips against Hinata's.

Hinata felt relieved he'd been shut up, but he was melting under the intensity. Was it even intense? It's not like he'd know - he's only been kissed once.

Komaeda backs away, letting out a long, hard sigh.

 

"You didn't have to bother."

 

"But I wanted to make you happy, I-"

 

Komaeda holds Hinata's hands in his own, looking at the deformed figures from above the water.

Komaeda smiles as he stares at their hands, before interlocking his fingers with Hinata's.

 

"Anything I do with you is special. That's why it didn't matter. We could've just hung out with friends, read books in the library - it doesn't matter. Because it would be with you."

 

Even though he's in the water, Hinata feels his knees give out and he falls forward - Komaeda catching him by the shoulders.

 

"Are you alright?" Komaeda asks - his face full of panic.

 

Hinata slowly nods.

He can feel his heartbeat without even touching his chest. He can hear ringing in his ears. It feels so hazy.

He only feels like this around Komaeda.

Should he stop seeing him?

But, the only time Hinata's felt genuinely comfortable, accepted and safe is _also_ with Komaeda.

What a troublesome predicament.

 

* * *

 

Hinata can't sleep.

He already finished his date with Komaeda - they both said goodbye, Hinata showered, put on his pyjamas and he's currently lying in bed, his room pitch black as he stares at the ceiling.

He keeps thinking about Komaeda.

He lets his forearm fall and drape over his face.

He's tired.

But he can't stop thinking about Komaeda.

The way their lips pressed together, even for just a brief moment.  
The way Komaeda holds Hinata in his arms - feels so safe and secure.  
The way Komaeda smiles and reassures him.

Will it all go away once the world resets?

 

Hinata can feel tears well up into his eyes.

"Ugh."

 

It's not like he was connected to the _real_ Komaeda this way. Of course not. He could never.

He's just a pathetic Reserve Course student, after all. Komaeda probably pities him at the _least_.

He can feel a heavy weight press down on his chest.

He doesn't want the world to reset.

Will he forget all the memories he made with Komaeda?  
Will _Komaeda_ remember them?

 

All these lingering anxieties keep Hinata awake in his cold, empty cabin.

He can hear birds chip softly outside and the wind howling gently. The leaves brushing against each other and the ocean. That beautiful ocean. He can hear the waves ripple and splash all the way from his cabin.

Those waves used to rock him to sleep - now he can't stare at the ocean, hear it, or even think about it without Komaeda's smile appearing in his mind.

 

He sits up, blinking away the tears in his eyes.

He lets out a deep sigh.

Komaeda's always been there for him, right?

He'll listen to Hinata's ramblings, right?

He sure hopes so.

 

* * *

 

Komaeda creaks open his cabin door and sees a shaky Hinata stood before him, clutching a pillow.

 

"Hinata-kun? Is something wrong?"

 

Hinata nods, avoiding eye contact - keeping his head lowered.

Komaeda looks around, making sure nobody else is outside before inviting Hinata inside.

 

Just as Hinata hears the door to Komaeda's cabin let out a satisfactory "click" as the door shuts - he lets out a loud wail.

Komaeda's expression starts off as perplexed - then concerned - then finally, he lets out a flushed, panicked face.

 

"H-Hinata-kun? What's wrong?" He asks, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and patting his chest with his free hand.

 

Hinata lets out a deafening cry as tears stream down his face like a river.

His vision fuzzy as his eyes start to burn.

Komaeda leads Hinata to the bed and sits him down, passing him tissues, a bottle of water and softly patting his back until he manages to calm down.

 

Hinata sniffles.

"I'm sorry."

 

Komaeda lets out a relieved smile, "Don't apologise."

 

He interlocks fingers with him.

"What's wrong?" Komaeda asks.

 

Hinata can feel his heart expand - feeling as if it's going to burst.

"Why do you love me?" Hinata asks.

 

Komaeda stares at the ceiling for a moment.

 

"Because I do?" Is the only answer Hinata receives.

 

"I get that, but why?"

 

"I'm.. not entirely sure, to be honest. But, I feel like you and I have a lot in common."  
Komaeda said that to him when they first arrived on Jabberwock Island, too.

"You make me feel at ease."  
Same goes for Hinata.

"I don't really know," he admits. "You make me feel things that nobody else does, the feeling is practically indescribable."

 

Hinata's eyes start to well up again.

"Do you think you'll ever stop loving me?"

 

Komaeda cocks his brows for a brief moment before letting out a soft sigh.

 

"I will love you until my lungs give out. You are my world, Hinata-kun."

Komaeda grabs both of Hinata's hands in his own, gently caressing his knuckles with his thumbs.

"I used to believe hope meant absolute good, absolute power... But, I was wrong. _You_ are _my_ hope, Hinata-kun. You are the only thing I need."

 

Hinata can't hold in his tears anymore and latches onto Komaeda, sobbing profusely into his shoulder. His fingers digging into the back of his shirt.

Komaeda softly smiles and embraces Hinata in return.

Komaeda really _is_ Hinata's home.

 

"I really do love you," Hinata whines into Komaeda's now damp sleeve.

 

Komaeda can feel his face heat up and he holds Hinata tighter.

 

Hinata keeps crying - not as severely as before, but mainly because he can't believe his luck.

He has someone as amazing as Komaeda in his life.

 

"Promise me something," Hinata says, sniffling as he pries himself away from Komaeda's grasp.

 

"Anything," Komaeda smiles, moving strands of hair from Hinata's face.

 

Hinata gently cups Komaeda's face in his hands.

"Don't forget me, no matter what."

 

Komaeda smiles and touches Hinata's forehead with his own. Their noses brushing against one another.

"I promise."

 

* * *

 

Hinata pries himself up and manages to sit on his bed, he rubs his head as he waits for himself to wake up.

Once reality sinks in, he feels something heavy and warm next to him. He cocks his head to the side and lets his gaze flow down to the sleeping boy next to him.

Hinata lets out a weak smile as he moves the hair out of Komaeda's face.

 

"I love you, Nagito," Hinata whispers into the sleeping Komaeda's ear.

 

Hinata lets out a loose smile and looks at the arm dangled across his lap.

He stares at the hand attached to that arm and-

His heart plummets into his stomach.

 

He sees a feminine hand with long pink nails attached to Komaeda's arm.

Not even stitched on, like the real Komaeda. The hand is just... _his_. But, at the same time, it's not.

Hinata can feel his entire being shake.

He feels the bile in his throat and the cold sweat dripping down his face.

He holds the hand in his own and a sharp, excruciating pain soars throughout all of Hinata's body.

He shuts his eyes tightly, suppressing the urge to scream.

He can feel the tears begin to well up in his eyes.

Then, it all goes black.

 

* * *

 

Hinata sits up immediately, with Naegi by his side.

He immediately regrets this decision as his head feels very light and he immediately falls back down.

 

"Hinata, are you alright?" Naegi asks with a panicked expression.

 

Hinata winces.

The only words that manage to escape his lips are "Komaeda."

 

Naegi clenches his jaw and looks at Hinata.

"He... woke up."

 

Hinata can feel his heart beating - it's throbbing so hard and fast he thinks it might burst out of his chest.

 

"What?" Hinata says, slowly sitting up.

 

"He's awak-"

 

Hinata immediately gets up from his pod and stumbles to the floor.

 

"You shouldn't move-"

 

Hinata groans and clumsily starts running to the door.

 

"Hinata! You need to rest!"

Naegi's pleads go in one ear and come out the other as Hinata pushes open the door.

He limps through the empty hallways, his head throbbing and his stomach upset.

But, he has to see him.  
He _has_ to.

 

* * *

 

"Hinata!" Asahina yells as the door bursts open.

Hinata breathes heavily, his face drenched in sweat.

She's cradling a weak Komaeda in her arms - he's awake.

 

He runs towards them and drops to his knees.

"Komaeda," he says breathlessly.

 

Hinata's eyes well up with tears as he pulls Komaeda in close, embracing him, his hands digging into Komaeda's shoulders.

Hinata feels Komaeda's hand gently press against his chest.

 

"Sorry, I guess I hurt you, right? I'm just so-"

 

Komaeda looks up towards Hinata and gives him a deadly glare.

 

"I don't want a Reserve Course student touching me."

Hinata feels his heart plummet into his stomach.

 

"I-"

 

Komaeda winces in pain and glares at the decaying hand attached to his own.

"How pathetic," Komaeda sighs.

 

"I'm being pitied by the likes of _you_."

Komaeda coughs into Asahina's shoulder.

He glances over at Hinata and gives him an almost disgusted look.

"Don't come after me."

 

Hinata stares at the floor as Asahina quickly carries Komaeda out of the room - presumably taking him to a nursing station of some sort.

Hinata's vision blurs with tears.

"...You said you'd remember," he whispers.

 

Hinata punches the floor in a fit of rage, or sadness - it's probably a contorted mix of both. He keeps hitting the tiled floor until his knuckles turn brown and the floor stains with blood. He lets out a blood-curdling scream as the overflowing waterfalls of tears stream down his face and fall into his gaping, screaming mouth. His throat burns but he keeps yelling - he can't explain the emotion he's feeling right now. It's a disgusting mesh of emotions and he doesn't like it. He feels like throwing up everything.

He wants to die.  
Dying would feel better than the Hell he just entered.

"You're a liar," he softly weeps into the bloody, beaten floor. His tears creating a pool.

"A fucking liar."

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is... REALLY BAD FHFHFHFURHY i wanted to write something soft, but something with a teeny tiny bit of angst so. there is possibility for a sequel if you guys would be interested???? i dunno. i'm proud of this. like, REALLY proud. so, thanks for sitting through the bullshit. it means a lot that you'd give this a read (:


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